A Refreshing Black Republican Lady
After listening to Chrystal Wright during an interview on C-SPAN, I immediately had to send her the following email. I just wanted to share my story with her and I want to share it with others but also to draw light to a Filipino family who moved from poverty in their home country to a good life here. I wanted to compare what they managed to do with the hope that somehow our black communities could possibly find their own way, too.
The website for Chrystal is: http://conservativeblackchick.com/
I must apologize because when I first witnessed you while on a panel discussing the George Zimmerman Case; I assumed you were liberal but I was quite wrong as I learned later. But of course my wife and I were focusing more on the Queen with the African hat who was stealing the show with her old racist ranting. But then I happened to see you sharing your thoughts during an interview on C-SPAN. I could not stop watching and listening to your answers to some really perplexing questions.
I found you to be a breath of fresh air. You really say what you mean and you are quite blunt about your prospective when considering the Republican Party and its future. You also are quite outspoken about how the black community treats you and how a failure of the black family is at the root of their problems. The thing that struck me the most was the emotion that immediately overcame you when you began talking about your grandparents and how your grandfather died. I am one who is very saddened by what is now happening in our black communities. We are losing so many children to gun violence.
I was also moved by you not finding that great guy yet. I can only say be patient; he is out there, but he has just not had the good fortune of finding you yet. I am quite happily married to a Filipino woman and every day of our 32 years of marriage has been a total blessing. If I was your age and not married, I would be interested in you because YOU are very intriguing. My only recommendation would be to keep the guy who says, “You are the one I would like to be sitting on the front porch with when I am 64.” If you recall someone who already said that, then maybe you should give him a second look.
Now back to me. I am a big ugly white guy in my late 60s and I led a sheltered life growing up on a small ranch in Southern California about 50 miles East of LA. I was oblivious to what was happening in the South until the race riots started happening. I became interested quickly and I was inspired by what Martin Luther King was doing. I was not very happy with hearing about separate fountains and counters and riding in the back of buses. And the ones who were imposing these guidelines were rednecks. And my father had a redneck mentality which I felt at the time was not that bad. My father and mother separated when I was about 18. My dad who is now passed away; committed suicide. He was dirt poor and lived until he was 85 getting social security checks and getting his medical services at the VA. So my observation was that he was no better than the complaints he was trying to lodge against the entire black community in our country.
But I remember when I was young him to tell me over and over that “If you give a nigger an inch, they’ll take mile.” I just couldn’t believe that was true. I did not feel comfortable every time my father said that. At the time, I didn’t really know why. So how did I eventually determine he was a full blown racist? In 1999 my brother committed suicide – he drank too much and used drugs often. And then in early 2000 my mother became ill with a sudden brain tumor and partial paralysis on her left side and would only live another 6 to 8 months. I brought her to Denver from Southern California and with the help of my whole family, we took care of her in my home under Hospice. I asked my Dad who was living in Reading, California at the time, where he lived rent free in a small trailer on a ranch caring for the property and the livestock; to come to Denver. He agreed. I thought I could get him a similar arrangement on a ranch in Colorado after my mother died. I set him up a bunk in our basement. He and my mother had long talks about everything and it was a very happy time for my mother, and I enjoyed seeing them laughing together and enjoying themselves.
But then it happened. While I was standing caring for my mother one Sunday morning, he came up to my side and said I had some serious problems. But he didn’t want to talk about it in front of my mother. I took him to a pool hall to talk since he liked to play pool. I thought it had something to do with the care of my mother. But no. We parked in the parking lot and he started by saying, “you know, I cannot stand the sight of black people.” We never got inside to shoot pool. We had black people delivering my mother’s medicines occasionally. My daughter who was 12 at the time really helped a lot caring for grandma. So I told her I would take her and her friends to the water park so they could take a break and have some fun. One of those friends was half black. I asked my father if she was a problem for him as well. He said, “Yes.” I told him she was an innocent 12-13 year old, but he cut me off saying “you don’t know what they are thinking.” I said, “Well what is more important is that they don’t know what you are thinking. You are no better than the KKK.” But then he said, “But they wear masks.” And I replied, “and you are too chicken shit to wear a mask.”
I really blew up. I explained that I would have no problems inviting Colin Powell over for dinner. He said, “He is just looking out for himself and the blacks.” Then I said, “You know, he would make a better father than you.” And my father continued to insist that I should not permit any black people in my home. I told him I would not impose such a ridiculous rule on my family. And if he could not deal with that, he would have to leave. He said, “OK.” We spoke no more. We drove home. Then the next morning, I came downstairs and he was calmly setting at the kitchen table reading a newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee as though nothing had happened. I leaned over the kitchen counter and said, “So when are you leaving.”
I drove him that morning to the truck rental to get him a truck for his stuff and he packed up and left. I never again heard from him or knew where he was. It was years later when I got a call from the Reading City Manager’s office to inform me of the suicide. I immediately arranged a flight and my wife went with me. We took his car to a junkyard and sold it for $25. I arranged for a friend of his to distribute his ashes at the ranch where he used to live according to his wishes in the suicide note he left. He gave the few hundred dollars in his bank account to his friend as well. My wife and I sorted through his belongings and found a few mementos. The city kept the rest to auction off and the funds would go to the city for their trouble. I was finally done with my father. I was sad it all had to end that way, but that was my family. You get the cards you are dealt.
You spoke about how great being married is. You are so right. I met my wife in Germany when she had joined the service to make money to send home. I am the only one left from my side of the family but my wife has 5 sisters and 4 brothers; a family of 10. My wife’s father died when she was 12 and it was not until she was 21 when she left for Hawaii. And that is when she slept in a bed for the first time. Her mother had had all these children while living in a barrio in the Northern Philippines and they were dirt poor. She gave birth 10 times the old fashion way by squatting with the aid of a brother who was the family midwife. As a child, my wife’s mother happened to have been born on the Island of Hawaii while her parents were over working in the fields; she had a Hawaiian birth certificate. She returned home to the Philippines, grew up and got married at the age of 17.
An Uncle living in Hawaii found mother’s birth certificate and with his saintly help managed to get them all to come to Hawaii in 5 groups over 3 years. The first ones including the mom began working immediately so they could send money back to the Philippines for the next group to come. The mother worked in the pineapple fields. And so it went, after 3 years, they were all back together. But that is only the beginning of a remarkable story. Every one of her brothers and sisters found good work, got married and had children. Most of their children have graduated or are still in college. The degrees so far have been a Doctor of Pharmacy, my daughter; Political Science, my son; a female civil engineer now working in San Diego, a female dentist who just graduated this year, degrees in nursing, music and several more degrees to come. My son is applying for law school. The Grandma is still living in Hawaii being cared for by her children. She is now 88 years old and has several great grandchildren. When she was 85, the entire family came from everywhere to give her a birthday party on her birthday which is December 25. The greatest moment during the celebration and the most moving moment for me was when all her grandchildren got up on the stage and sang a song to her in English. They sang the Bruno Mars hit “Just the Way You Are.” I am now tearing up right now even 4 years later.
I might add that one of my wife’s sisters is handicapped and made her way around while in the Philippines on flip-flops attached to her knees until she was 13 years old. She had no bottom parts of her legs. And her hand was partially deformed. She was the last to come over to Hawaii but before she came she remembers sitting in a front window thinking there was no one like her in the whole world and she would not be able to work like the others. She thought she would not be able see her mother again. But she did arrive in a Hawaii. She got married to a Navy guy who took her to Ohio and it was there she gave birth to two children. One has a Music degree and the other graduated and joined the military. She started a sewing business in her home and for 4 years, she sewed the names on the back of all the jerseys belonging to Ohio State Football team. And it was one of those years they won the national title. She also offered to sew some really large curtains for someone who lived in a mansion like home. That owner put the word out and she began sewing these types of curtains for several other well off residents in up-scale Columbus. She then moved to South Carolina and is now working with a sewing company and she is so good that the boss lets her do what she wants and the rest of the crew simply adore her. They love her amazing attitude and her remarkably entertaining sense of humor. While she was in Ohio, she and her husband came to visit us while we were in Pennsylvania. We took them to see Washington, DC. Her husband carried her up the steps of the Capital Building on his back.
I may have lost my entire family but I gained the best family anyone could ever hope for. They are all such wonderful people. They are filled with respect for others, help each other all the time and have big meals together to enjoy the life they have. And I am so blessed to be a part of it. God blessed me beyond belief. And I am convinced that I am getting much more than I deserve. I often wonder how I could have been so lucky by asking a Filipino lady to marry me. I am inspired by what the whole family has accomplished after having come from such austere circumstances.
That brings me to wonder, what went wrong with our black communities. How did they reach a point of such despair? Could it be possible to give them an outlook on life like these simple Filipinos? I am very saddened by what I see and I am powerless to do anything about it. I am experiencing racism because of the color of my skin. I have not done anything wrong, but I am so hated by so many. I had hoped things would get much better when President Kennedy took such decisive action in turning the South around. I am now certain I will pass away before I see any change for the better.
I wish so much that those like you; Allen West and others could somehow also become President. And start sending that message that the black community needs to hear. We need all private schools for them. And we need for blacks to take back their neighborhoods, honor the family and turn their neighborhoods into gun free zones. But as long as Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson, the NAACP and the Black Caucus, keep making victims out of them, we are never going to see any improvement. We are witnessing the most destructive form of slavery ever witnessed on this planet. Keep them poor, keep them believing everything is going to get better, only to get their vote and then throw them away. There is no lynching anymore but these race mongers have found a way to get the black young men in this country to basically lynch each other with the use of an illegal gun.
God help us find a way.
I am going to be a regular visitor to your blog because I am refreshed by the hope you bring to our country and I am very pleased with all you have to say. My wife works as an accountant now, raised two remarkable children who are out on their own doing extremely well. And she does most of the cooking and house chores with a little help from me. I wonder why I get the bathrooms and the vacuuming. But I just do what she says out of fear and common sense. She runs the roost and I am happy just watching her enjoy her remarkable life; with me in it of course. Our son married in 2012 and and my daughter married this years. My daughter is working as a pharmacist in Hawaii and she can visit her grandma often. Yeah, I know. Someone has got to do that thankless job. I am just excited about the tickets to Hawaii I might be able to get to visit her and our family. Keep up the good work, Lady. And best of luck with that guy you are going to find.