Medicare Part G, Who Knew?

Medicare Part G for the elderly, finally!

Government help at last

Government help at last

A close friend of mine received an email and forwarded to me. It concerned an answer for older folks who need Long-Term Care but do not have the funds to afford it. Who knew that our Government would provide a solution to that dilemma just like they always do when they step in to help the elderly in need.  It is another element of Medicare that practically no one knows about until now. The politicians certainly did not want us to find out about it after the fact. It appears an congressional aide slipped in this provision to a large piece of legislation no one read; at least the politicians didn’t!

It’s called:

MEDICARE PART G

NO, really, all seriousness aside. It exists for the using as the need arises.

Let’s explain how it works. It is a plan that totally fits the politically correct way of doing things.

Say you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and need Long-Term Care, but the government says there is no Nursing Home Care available for you.

 So, what do you do?  You opt for Medicare Part G.

 The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part G) and one bullet.  You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician.  This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the health care you need.  Need new teeth?  No problem.  Need glasses?  That’s great.  Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart?  Need a wheelchair or canes or crutches?  They are all covered!

 As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now!

 And, who will be paying for all of this?  The same government that just told you they can’t afford for you to go into a nursing home.

 And you will get rid of a useless politician while you are at it.  And now, because you are a prisoner, you don’t have to pay any more

Is this a great country or what?

But concerning that sex change option. The benefit you get is all the sexual activity you could possibly ever NOT want. But luckily, your benefactor,  the United States Government, in their infinite wisdom, will take care of you on that note, also. They will give you as many free condoms as you need to handout to all your sex partners and that will give you the pleasure in knowing there is little chance of you contracting an STD. There is another benefit that comes with the sex change package, an endless supply of Preparation H to help increase your pleasure in all this sexual activity. And just in case your partners begin to lose their interest in you, and can provide them with their very own free prescription to a lifetime supply of Cialis. But keep in mind you need to advise them of the most undesirable side effects which are  include flushing, headache, upset stomach, diarrhea, nasal stuffiness and dizziness. In rare cases, men have experienced erection that last for longer than 4 hours (or is that 4 days, not sure). In such events, they need to be advised to visit the prison dispensary.

By the way, when you pass away in prison for any reason, you get funeral services that are totally inclusive at no charge. This includes embalming and postmortem reconstructive anal surgery.

I don’t  know about you, but I am cancelling my Long-Term Care insurance!

Related posts:

Are Republican and Democrat the Same?
Obama and His New Policies
The PC Police and the Common Folks

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