New Obama-isms for Your Pleasure

Newsweek-Obama-Gay-President

When Obama took office men lived in houses they owned; now they live in alleys in cardboard boxes.

Our President knows what Islam does to women yet he tries to say their is a war on women coming from the right. A peaceful religion when it is in a new Islamic Crusade to behead us all? Is there a golf course in Syria he might try out?

Obama has outlived his uselessness!

You didn’t build Benghazi, you destroyed it along with the Heroes in it.

We gave Obama a very big job but he turns out to be someone who is extraordinarily small.

You need to be very careful criticizing the president; you know! Watch your Ps and Cs, so I know what I can say to protect myself: “He’s the kettle calling pot white.” That should do it.

Obama has spent 6 years learning everything about “Stupid.” And he gets an A!

Many Americans Can’t Name Obama’s Religion but I can: SOCIALISM!

The Jogger-in-Chief is always in a hurry going nowhere fast. Saluting on the run is wrong at so many levels and holding a coffee cup while saluting is the worst. He has had six years to get it right; should we give him another two? OR, should the Marines both pick up cups in their right hands to salute since it President is setting the example?

They tell me Obama is golden! But he only has a heart of Fool’s Gold. Only fools voted for him-& you can take that to the bank.

In a contest to find the picture that depicts the absolute most stupidest mistake ever was won by the White House photographer taking a picture of Obama at his desk in the Oval Office.

The Times keeps spitting on religion and its symbols but puts Obama on the front page with a Halo over his head!

Fortunately Obama is the lessor of two evils; but unfortunately, he is the other evil as well.

Obama’s hope and change needs to be flushed out with the toilet water!

Obama is more like a proctologist then a President… We keep getting screwed.

Lost dog found! It was in a pen next to Obama’s White House garden. HUM?

The only things Democrats fight “for” are the things they “hate” the most. Huh? Oh Yeah!

Palosi is Obama’s super ego.

Obama talks too much while awake! I bet he talks as much in his sleep. We are lucky there is no teleprompter in his bedroom.

With our government; more is less. More for them and less for us!

In order to maintain all the falsehoods surrounding this president, the lies must exponentially increase to insure falsehoods continue to hold water in a boat that has no bottom.

IF Obama was a soldier on the battlefield, they couldn’t shoot him: He runs to fast!

Obama’s fossilic policies are not moving anywhere; wonder why?

Obama’s delusions of grandeur are now illusions of reality.

I fully accept my refusal to accept Mr. Obama as my president. And I refuse to accept any change of my mind!

Obama does not have an Ace up his sleeve, it’s a Joker.

The President is deeply concerned that there has been no national security crisis in the last 6 weeks because he needs to return to Ohio as soon as possible to give a very important speech during another fundraising event.

Sorry Mr. President, maybe some other time; just not in your lifetime.

Have you noticed that when Obama laughs, his ears stick out?

As demonstrated in the past, when the President says he is going to do something, everyone can rest assured that it will not be done and that he will blame the Republicans for something they did.

It was reported that when the President returned to his personal quarters at the White House for a much awaited dinner with Michele, he learned she would not be able to attend since she would be out on a date with a very important man from a prominent Washington, DC, highly regarded escort service.

If you are a Green business you get a bailout; a regular corporation, you get taxed!

I am working very hard on twitter to make all Obama’s disadvantages our advantages!

Obama will never be in my heart; and never “again” in my White House!

They used a space probe on Obama’s head and it came back positive.

Democrats do not have time to work; they are too busy protesting the lack of work.

I thought Obama was elected President! But then we find out the White House has been vacant for about 6 years. Who knew!

When classifying living human beings, the President uses a specific area of science referred to as “racism.” And for human beings who are dead he describes them using the specific science of “abortion.”

It goes without saying, Mr. Obama; in 2016 we say goodbye. Our lose is also Chicago’s lose.

You are only permitted to have free speech when democrats say so.

Obama thinks he is clever being stupid!

The POTUS Administration is like a drink on the rocks without “the drink!”

Obama has mastered the art of not admitting to something he won’t admit he denied.

With Obama, his exceptional dullness is like a bright white light.

How can you say Obama is “HOPE” when he is a rope-a-dope!

When a black man dies, Obama sends a real letter. For Seals he sends form letters. Isn’t that racism?

As a community organizer, Obama helped destroy a neighborhood; and he is using that same finite skill to destroy our country.

Obama is learning rather quickly that he’s sure he is indecisive.

The goose has become an endangered species since Obama keeps screwing it.

The only people, Mr. President, who lead from behind are those who are cowards!

Obama Proves it True: His enemies are is allies.

When in doubt about whether what he is saying is a lie, the president mumbles.

When you peel back the cover on the sly one, President O-Banana, he’s not very appeeling!

Obama retreats to Chicago knowing he never needs to retire on Social Security and Medicare!

Obama favorite sign over the entrance to the oval orifice is: Thank you for pot smoking.

Obama policies will never fly……..always.

Obama has five speeds where every gear is “stop.”

It seems Obama got folks to vote for him by asking: “Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?”

Obama does not ride elevators because his nose is too high.

What a bucket of lies! The “Sequester” policy was OBAMA’s idea he suggested to Congress. He blames them?? Nice.

“Obama only hates to the degree of his worthlessness.”

Obama blames Bush and he praises himself. The epitome of Conceit.

If Obama is so bright, why is he so damn dull?

Obama turns out to be his own minesweeper.

Talk is cheap and Obama is expensive.

Obama complained about the brush sitting next to the toilet in the Oval Office: “It hurts!”

We have to stand taller because the poop from the White House is getting deeper.

Someone told Obama his “broad” base is narrowing; He says: You mean the women?

Obama is not having an out of body experience; he is about to have an Out of Office experience!

Michelle told Obama she’s not moving out in ’16; she’s becoming Hillary’s WH intern. Bill Clinton will be very keen to that idea as long as he is put in charge of the interns. Brace yourself, Michelle.

The White House has been on autopilot for the last 6 years; it seems it lost its rudder.

Like handwriting on the wall, there’s graffiti on the helipad at the White House that says GONE!

The problem with our president is he takes his TV remote control with him to the golf course because he thinks he can use it to control the government. But for him, that’s “remotely” impossible.

We just received word that the President will make a quick but very important stop at the Capital building on his way to speak at a NAACP function; to use the restroom. But he has not been there for a while so he will need help with directions once he is in the building.

I heard Planned Parenthood of Indiana is shutting its doors due to lack of funding. I guess they were “ready to be shoveled” after all. You might say Shovel Ready!

With Obama, he is building a crescendo of destruction.

I am so happy Obama is beginning to END!

Based on yesterday’s election, I guess we need to all move to Europe and give the country to the UN.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall; How come I don’t see my reflection at all?

Isn’t it ironic that rioters riot against businesses that would hire them if the public school system did its job? They should be down the street at the high school, rioting.

Your war-on-women mantra is about to be attacked by women who get your intent to use them for your gain, only.

I only approve of the things about our government of which I disapprove.

The agony of the Obama Abyss is nearing a grand finale.

Eastwood Says: “the Good, the Bad and the President.”

In the first meeting President Obama had after election, he invites Moveon.org; funded by George Soros. That was his first priority?

We are not answering your calls for 8 years because we are not listening.

If Obama lasts 8 years, we will need to change the calendar to omit 8 years of absolute nothingness.

Paluzi’s face could launch a thousand slips.

Obama is truly bittersweet without the “sweet.”

What we need is peace and tranquility in the WH and Obama in Chicago!

The Obama Administration is malfunctioning perfectly.

This bumper sticker is about Obama so it was intentionally left blank.

So many questions but never an answer; because the MSM never asks the question!

Obama is everything but top drawer next to the socks!

The President has no comment at this time regarding US-Russian relations since when he called Mr. Putin, he received a busy signal. But he did call back and was forwarded to Mr. Putin’s secretary who informed him he would have to call back due to unusually high call volumes and suggested he not hold since his wait time was in excess of 3 years.

He rode into office riding a camel on a cloud of smoke with mirrors that do not show his reflection.

Obama may be able to fake an orgasm but not the presidency!

How to lose in Iraq and Syria; bomb with no troops on the ground! His plan is to delaying until he himself bombs!

I hope Obama is paying attention to the growing number of folks who are becoming inattentive. Or maybe I hope not!

The car leading the President’s limo has a sign that says: “Watch out for the idiot behind us.”

The POTUS is suffering from a rare ailment called compulsive verbalizing syndrome caused by the repetitious stretching of the truth!

Mr. O has a simple plan to double everyone’s money. He will take every dollar you earn, fold it in half and stuff it in his pocket and the pockets of those who contribute to his Political Action Committee.

Obama’s speeches are just like going to his house for dinner. He serves the same meal and the next time you eat it, it taste like bull poop!

The President has postponed his speech on climate change until it warms up a little bit or gets colder a little bit; whichever is the case.

Obama has quickly become a wilderness without a voice; or a vote for that matter.

When Obama does a Eulogy for anyone who dies, most of his sentences begin with “I.” He weeps while talking about his own ego!

Obamacare? No he doesn’t!

Obama’s chances for notoriety are like a snowball in hell; better yet like an iceberg in an inferno!

I wish Obama was telepathic; then he could hear us thinking he is pathetic.

The POTUS thinks he was born with a silver spoon in his mouth; turns out it was a plastic fork!

Obama is one of those bad things that happen to all the good people.

Hey Obama, please don’t use your cellphone while riding in your limo, you are dangerous to us all.

As a present for being such a great president; we are going let you skydive over Chicago; but we get to pack your shoot.

The President is in ongoing talks concerning the remaining future of his presidency with his most trusted and closest friends. The American People should be proud to know that these gentleman are pillars within the socialist and communist community from across the country.

Obamacare is not getting off the ground, it is too far down in the sewer. Even the President said it “stank.”

The only time Obama bets when they are blind and he sacrificing military lives.

Our government is like the mafia; if you don’t do what they say, they will kill you with debt.

Obama’s virtues are characterized as predominantly consisting of vice.

The Obama administration is tantamount to dynamic aimlessness.

Can someone please tune the tuner; Obama math is really fuzzy.

Recommendation for Obama to motivate himself:  “Think CHICAGO”

Your comings and goings Mr. President are soon to be leavings and gone.

Obama denials are true; because he says they are! Enough for me!

Obama needs to keep to himself and leave us alone.

The President has received numerous complaints from his gay golfing partners that he has not been paying adequate attention to attending to all their personal and special needs.

I thought fantasy land was only at Disneyland; but now I see it is also in the White House!

The President is very concern that we get to the bottom of what happened by immediately  re-investigating the original investigation to see if we need another investigation. And to be sure we get it right for the American People, we will instigate a thorough investigation immediately following the release of the report of those investigatory findings. And you can also be assured that we will submit all those findings from all the investigations for a thorough review without delay.

We can count on Obama making all his best decisions while sleeping.

As demonstrated in the past, when the President says he is going to do something, everyone can rest assured that it will not be done and that he will blame the Republicans for something they did.

The Kenyan government announced today; they do not need an Ambassador to the US since they have one in the White House.

We don’t have Obama’s back like Democrats do; we have his butt in sight of our foot!

Obama voters and he are like parts of a fraction. They are the nominators; he is the divisor. He divides our tax dollars to give to others.

Obama! Know how to avoid blame? Go live in Chicago!

Obama’s arrival in Chicago is only is surpassed by his departure from Washington.

Let me numerate the numbers nimrod, we are broke!

It is quite clear that our president is quite furfuralic. And as a matter of fact he is quite flaky, too. Quite obviously our president is the epitome of redundancy. Just like my first two sentences. Redundancy breeds quite clearly, redundancy!

Obama is never inaccurate according to Snooze Media; he is just not accurate most of the time

Obama’s absence from the White House is going to be more valuable to the country than his presence.

Our Government debt is knee-high to a Tyrannosaurus Rex on stilts

You are the only one who gets a safety net in this country Mr. President, the rest of us are in free-fall.

Paluzi Polosi is a  doozy of a loosy!

The other day Obama thought he was telling the truth for a change but then he found out he was still lying.

We are going to take away Obama’s keys to the WH and give him a set of keys to a Chevy Volt.

The hourglass of Obama’s sands of time has a hole. It’s empty; he can’t turn it over!

What’s worse then a politician?……..Two or more of them!… Reminds me of Lawyers.

Obama has perfected the art of imperfection!

If you voted for Obama, you are an ostrich with your head in a hole while he blew smoke up your ass. Get a clue!

I have news for you Mr. President: Taxpayer Dollars are not play money!

Obama is bold as he sleeps but weak, meek and sleazy when he is awake.

Obama is totally capable of being incapable.

Obama found out that sex on TV is dangerous; you can get hurt if you fall off.

Obama was prepared to say it was Bush’s fault if he lost the election; now he can say it was Bush’s fault we didn’t get what we wanted!

Obama’s State of the Union Speeches fall flat on the bully pulpit!

Obama’s Like France! In France you lose your head in the Guillotine; In the US you lose your wallet to the Government.

Obama’s here and now is now and never!

God must love stupid people. He made democrats.

How can we send President “O” up to the cloud and then cancel the account?

Unfortunately, the President will not be able to speak with us today. He received an unexpected visit from a Clinton supporter who requested a private meeting to resolve old issues that have recently popped up. The visitor log has been properly documented to show that Monica Lewinski is currently visiting the Oval Office and the departure time is TBD.

The top 10 things I wished I’d known about Obama before he became President. What! I can’t have a 100 or 1000 list?

Democrats are always protesting against the government they insist they need more of!

Democrats always rave about the Inquisition. But they fail to note that we are now experiencing the Islamic Inquisition – 10 times more brutal!

After seeing Anthony Weiner’s wiener online, I am convinced he should change his name to Weenie!

Because of the POTUS, Teleprompters, newly unionized, are going on strike due to being over-worded.

Obamacare is going to crash and the AMA is already on the way to the crash site to investigate. The FAA was going but they lost their healthcare due to Obamacare and now have a conflict of interest.

The only thing Obama can drive is a golf ball; and with our country he keeps yelling FOUR!

Socialism IS Obamanism!

We should change the name of the Department of Education to the Department for the Wealth and Welfare for Unions of Public Teachers.

Obama is more valuable to us while he’s asleep as opposed to when he is awake!

He thought there was nothing to it; but I think he still has not learned that there is nothing to him!

Mr Obama is a pillar of oak in a community of termites. And we have to keep watering this tree?

Benghazi is a huge problem because Obama was arming Terror extremist to fight in Syria! Dumb, better hide that one!

Obama’s policies have put us all on the financial rag!

When Obama says “Forward” he means “his mail to Chicago!”

For us, Obama’s last four years plus the 4 before that unfortunately seem like light-years. I just wish the election in 2016 would come at the speed of light!

There is no way Obama will ever lose his mind; he doesn’t have one. But he will lose his office chair in the oval office. And the office, too.

Obama Method: Bend the Truth and keep the lies straight and perpetual!

Obama’s chance of an expanded horizon is getting mighty cloudy.

For all you Teleprompters out there; being in front of a podium while Obama is behind it, is definitely not safe!

Let me tell it like it is, Mr. President. YOU AIN’T!

Communism IS Obamanism!

Best defense for us against Obama is to attack him at the voting booth.

They want pre-natal abortions; why not a post-natal presidential abortion? Working on it.

Pardon us Mr. Obama, we are going to give you an attitudinal readjustment.

I get it now. Obama’s mother didn’t know he was adopted!

The vagueness of Obama is only clear when it’s cloudy!

Obama doesn’t have enough time to learn the art of skydiving; he is too busy learning about nose diving.

Since Obama has driven me to the state ad naseum; I feel like slinging the cat!

Hey Obama there is a sign on your road: “You are now entering Chicago, Populations:  Idiots +1

Obama agrees with everything he says; but we don’t.

Studies show spending several days on end in the White House can damage your ability to get votes for your party. Duh!

Obama did not lose his virginity before he lost his mind. His mind was lost at conception.

Nobody likes Al Gore…I like him! Oh, it’s April 2nd. For Al Gore, he is an April’s Fool every day!

Obama is like Saint Chad, the patron Saint of voting machines; he had the job and then he lost it!

Democrats hate Disenfranchisement of dead voters from the voting roles because that takes away the illegal vote they rely on!

They tell me Obama is great! But he has a dark side; both sides.

How can a president be so regressive while calling himself progressive?

Obama only says things don’t work when he is looking at a teleprompter and a mirror!

The New York Times is now printed on used Charmin!

Obama may have won the election but he has lost our country.

He promised Hope and we got soap on a rope.

Obama is not an idiot he is a schizophrenic idiot with multiple personality disorder.

Obama is only wrong when he agrees with himself.

Vote “NO” on Politician “O” and all his fellow hacks.

A whole series of new questions came up about an issue overseas and the President needed to get prepared. So he sat down with his advisers to discuss an appropriate response. But first he demanded that someone prepare him a map right away so he could familiarize himself with the place in question. With a perplexed and surprised look on his face, he turned to his advisors and asked, “Would someone please tell me; where the hell is Benghazi?”

When our economy goes in the toilet; then they will start taxing our poop!

We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

Obama is a tome of implausible arguments just waiting to be ignored.

Can you explain to me the importance of a democrat? ………. anyone? Hello?

The red phone is ringing in the Oval Office and it is a Chicago Motel 6 with the light on for him.

Mr. O is really upset about the GOP not funding his Obama Care debacle in order to fund the government. But he is going to revengefully get his way somehow or die crying.

All Obama’s policies have been six years in the making but immediate following his departure, they will gladly be 8 years in antiquity.

All Obama’s senior moments are juvenile!

The mind is a wonderful thing: and Obama has yet to use his!

I don’t have anything negative to say about Obama, he says it all when he gets behind a podium.

Mr. Obama is a pillar of oak in a community of termites. And we have to keep watering this tree?

If Obama is so bright, why is there absolutely no shine?

Hey Obama. I respectfully disagree with your presidency without the respect.

Who knows? Obama knows! He is toast!

What’s worse than a politician?……..Two or more of them!… Reminds me of Lawyers. Oh, and Obama is both.

Our President needs to learn how to run the Oval Office like a grizzly bear but unfortunately he’s actually a Koala bear and he has all the koalifications to prove it.

With Mr. Obama, his ability to slowly ascend is only surpassed by his ability to rapidly descend.

How come Obama freedom feels like captivity?

“Oh, Democrats walk on water; they just don’t realize they are in a dry lake bed.”

The POTUS intentions are paved with a hellish lack of goodness.

The brave Navy Seals are being led by an abject coward. STAND DOWN Yourself, Obama.

They voted for hope and change and got a pollywog! Let’s hang him out to dry!

I figured it out why the president doesn’t know anything. He went deaf listening to all of us and now he can no longer hear what his staff is telling him. I knew it would be our fault.

Obama inherited his genes from communists; the genes are faded & have lots of shreds and holes in them just like jeans.

Obama wants to use recovery tactics on gas prices so he can recover higher prices.

Obama really needs glasses so he can see where he has not been for the past 6 years; visible.

Obama’s capability is only surpassed by his incapability.

There is a real card game called A$$hole or President; the winner is Obama because he managed to be both. And then we found out he cheated and still won?

It is taking forever to get to 2016 like turtles walking through peanut butter.

Obama gets the luck and we get stuck!

You will get more valuable “change” at the Seven-11 than from Obama!

The reason Mr. O is out of control is he is missing the control button on his foreign policy keyboard. And based on how he runs the economy, he must be missing the dollar sign key as well.

The GSA fiasco is the tip of a rapidly defrosting iceberg of debt!

Obama likes us all like women like silent men, he thinks we are listening.

Sorry, dude. You don’t get to play the president; you have to BE the president.

What is it about Obama that Obama doesn’t get? Everything! Oh, wait, except a ticket to Chicago 2016. He’ll get that for sure.

It is against the law to pay a citizen to vote but not to pay a congressman!

Obama plays president like he plays card games; he always passes. & he will Pass OUT in 2016.

It goes without saying, Mr. President, we all say you need to go.

Does anyone know who the idiot is behind the presidential podium? Oops, it’s Obama. My Bad!

During Benghazi, Obama could not be found. If you need to find him in a hurry, you just need to quickly check all the golf courses in the country.

Obama is the missing link in the oval office because he is always out on the links.

You might say Obama has lost touch with reality; really? He never came close to touching it!

We all know that Superman puts on his suite in a phone booth when he gets ready to go to work. The way our President works, he must be getting dressed at the golf course in the porta-potty.

With Obama, Teleprompters speak louder than words and make more sense.

The Obama presidency is the epitome of fecklessness.

It is literally impossible to not know about Benghazi if you are President. He had to of known about it because he lied about it.

Mr. O believes that running this country is really easy. That’s because he eases into any course of action hardly. And he eases out of a course of action always.

The Lies My Teleprompter Made Me Tell – By Barry Soetoro

We call Main Stream Media News-holes because they stink worse than A$$ Holes.

Due to a teleprompter malfunction, all questions need to be submitted in writing so the President will have time to prepare a coherent response at some time in the future after the Teleprompters are fixed.

Congress is like what you get when the Mafia rules!

The only time Obama holds up his middle finger is In front of a mirror.

Obama is so happy he got six years in with no impeachment. Blunders never cease.

In his determination as to what is best for the American People, the President has decided to delay the entire Obamacare program immediately following the results of the vote count in 2014. And depending on those results, he will need to delay it until 2016, as well.

Obamacare has performed a miracle in aviation. He is crashing after reaching the miraculous height of “Zero Thousand Feet.”

The President wanted to get to the bottom of a very problem. He said, “There is only one thing we can do. So have a master list prepared of all my options and have it on my desk first thing in the morning. Or, as another option, delay my response until the questions about the problem begin to surface again. If push comes to shove, we will just have to express our deep concern and call for a thorough investigation.”

Reporters who accidentally overheard a conversation between the President and his scheduling staff, noted he was obviously upset when they suggested they wait until they get back to the White House to schedule his next vacation. He insisted that it be top priority and be placed at the top of his to-do list for the early morning briefing. This happened while he was on vacation at Martha’s Vineyard.

Obama’s natural intelligence is artificial.

The only difference between Obama and worthlessness is nothingness!

With Democrats, they roll up their sleeves to get out of work.

Obama is the only president who should have had a no year term limit.

The President will issue another executive order to enter into a non-competitive contract with a devoted donor and paint shop owner to have his office repainted but due to budgetary restraints brought on by Republican gridlock in the House, the painting cannot begin until midyear 2017. But he promises the American People that he will stay on the job until the painting is complete. The estimated completion date is yet to be determined since the President may not be happy with the color he personally selected.

Everything Obama does has a specific purpose; like sending form letters to families of Navy Seals killed in action. What a bag of scum!

How can you move forward when you have no more future behind the wheel of state?

Time to put on your brakes Mr. Obama your presidency is over.

Honk if you voted for Obama to help him sacrifice the Ambassador at Benghazi for votes.

It is not the presidency that is a pain in Obama’s ass, it is us kicking him out of office.

We have used Obama to his full potential, the moment he entered the White House. One second later, he was the epitome of no potential.

The secret service just stopped at my door concerning my tweets about Obama!  They said, “Keep it up!”

We are going to be ecstatic about Obama’s departure from the White House in 2016. But it is not covered by Obamacare.

With Obama goal of fixing the debt, we end up in the cellar and the debt is in the attic.

I have tremendous respect for the poor because they have more money than me.

Hey, Obama, you need to learn to laugh at your problems like we all do. And your policies, too.

With Obama we are going to play the card game “pass the Trash!” …to Chicago in 2016!

Our US Government: is 100% taxation by representation. And that really taxes me to no end.

Obama’s real repulsiveness is unbearable just as much as his imaginary attractiveness.

Who drug who down? Obama or News Week?………… NEXT: New York Times!

The Obama cabinet? It’s a group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary.

And all the time you though Mr. President wanted a deal. What he wanted was to tax everyone! That has been his plan all along. Oh, what fools we are!

Obama is as slick as Preparation H.

Warning: do not argue with Obama about gay rights, he will hit you with his European Man Purse.

Michelle says Barrack talks in his sleep and that is the only time she can understand him. But he still lies even then.

Obama used alcohol, marijuana, and cocaine as teenager to “push questions of who I was out of my mind.” It is no surprise he is now Mindless!

When something serious happens to our country, the president says he can’t sleep at night. Well, that is because he is asleep all day.

Obama is so far left he gets lost in right hand turn lanes.

With Benghazi Obama has not reached the bottom, he is well below that.

For better or worse, we got the worst with Obama.

How can all your faults be Bush’s faults? Your faults ARE your faults. Duh!

We are having a drawing: Free ride home from the White House Helipad. Wow! Congratuations. Obama, you win!

Obama thinks he has us eating out of his hand; he better count his fingers when he departs in 2016, he may come up short!

All Obama’s decisions are based on flipping a coin made of silly putty. “Vote Count?” is on each side!

Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never heard the President while he is being mousy. (Oooh, did I misspell that?)

Wouldn’t you know it! The pens Obama uses to sign bills are filled with vanishing ink. DANG!

Warning, The President says he has an attitude, and he knows how to abuse us with it.

My heart will grow fonder when President Obama is absent from the White House!

Obama never fights for peace; just a piece of taxpayer dollars. All the pieces.

In January Obama’s going to be leaving the Oval Office in the White House and going to the oval toilet in Chicago!

Obama’s truths are non-existent and his lies far outnumber his fantasies.

Diarrhea of the mouth is caused by an incurable POTUS infection.

The President’s Press Secretary reported that since someone failed to set up the teleprompter equipment, the President will not be speaking today. And because he will not be saying anything, there will be no need for any questions. He will stand quietly at the podium for his allotted period of time and will then return to the Oval Office for his next scheduled event.

Hey, Paluzi Pelosi; you won’t need to liberate yourself, we will do it for you!

Obama is the real deal in his imaginary card game called “Bullshit! Sorry about the language. That’s the real name!

Palosi is a legend in her own mind?

What is the true meaning of communism? Obamanism!

Hear no Obama, see no Obama, say no to Obama. Crank up the Impeachment machine powered by gasoline, the sun is not shining today and there is no wind.

A prayer for Obama going back to Chicago begins with “dearly departed.”

Obama’s favorite saying is: I souport publik edekasion

Obama studied Pol Science and International Relations and got a Liberal Arts Degree. Interesting.

Obama described his high-school drug use as a great moral failure. Now he can call his presidency the same.

In the land of Dumb, Obama is king!

I was going to make a bunch of Obama Stickers but they run out of “crap” paper.

I am announcing my resignation from supporting congress any longer.

With this Senate, stupidity begets lunacy!

Obama is a perpetual “fisher” of votes; not a president. Oddly enough, the more he fishes, the larger our fissure of debt.

How come when Republicans and the Tea Party wave at the President they only use one finger?

If “First Come, First Served” only applies to you Mr. President; all votes for you were ill-served.

When Obama mumbles he doubts himself. And he mumbles all the time.

Obama never really grew up, so he never learned how to act in public. The proof is in his lies. They are childish.

The unemployment rate in the audience at all Obama speeches is above 95%.

I tried to rate President Obama on a scale of 1-10 and my scale broke!

Really, I have to get me one of those million dollar green jobs. They really pay extravagantly well. And I only have to work one year, too.

The Obama art of being the ugliest Politician every; is beautiful.

Obama carries no cash that is his; it belongs to the taxpayer!

I can’t wait until Obama experiences the nostalgia of having been the worst president ever.

Obama’s happy after learning Monica accepted Bill Clinton’s offer for her to become an intern again; if Hillary gets elected.

Give me liberty or give me death; oh yeah, and give me no Obama.

Obama has appointed a ton of Czars what does that make him?…. The Czar, Czar.

I Brake for reason and logic; but for Obama my brakes always fail.

We are experiencing government taxation through procrastination.

You know why Obama can’t pick his nose? ……He’s always sitting on his hands.

Obama’s idea of forward is a mirror image. He’s going backwards.

For Obama’ buddy Anthony Weiner, there will be no “Penal” code; just a penis code.

Obama equaled Hope and Change; now he is dope and mange!

In order to stimulate the economy, we need to change presidents.

Obama had his Viagra prescription doubled because he couldn’t catch Michelle.

Related posts:

Are Republican and Democrat the Same?
How to Avoid Doing Your Math Homework!
Democrats and the Gay Community - Racism and Lies

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Read previous post:
Poems From the Gospel of JJ

     My Bon Bon I have a little bonbon I keep it in-a box With several thousand latches And thirty-seven...

Close