Women Are Much More Valuable Than Men!
“It’s a small world, after all” are words in a song you hear playing while going through the Disney ride called “It’s a Small World” at Disneyland in Southern California. I actually enjoyed it as an adult watching the joy on the faces of my children as we float in a boat through a maze of characters at every bend on the small make believe river. Those children represent my future when I pass away. They will carry forward my genes giving me eternal life. When someone does a DNA test centuries into the future, they will find my DNA. But without having married a remarkable lady, none of the above would have been possible. In fact, life would not be possible were it not for women.
The current harping of equal pay for women, especially the 77% disparity uttered by our President, is a lie like the rest of his Burger King double whoppers. And there are too many who actually believe everything he says. Or they have an excuse like, “Republicans lie all the time, too,” as though that makes his lies OK and justified. And then there is the lie that the Republicans are in a war against women. We already have laws that make it illegal to disparage women by paying them less than men. And every place I worked had lots of women managers and the pay was equal. In fact, the HR department conducted examinations on a regular basis to determine if a person’s pay was fair. I know this to be true since I was one of those who got a pay raise to bring my pay in line with the rest of those with the same job and approximate length in service. In that case, everyone, male or female, was getting more pay than I. Ironic though, I was asked to keep it a secret so it didn’t upset others – I guess that meant those who were getting more pay than I.
Clearly, we have come a long way in bringing equality in the workplace. But there is another aspect of how women fit into the scheme of our lives as humans. Is it important to insure that everyone recognizes them as equal and that they need to be treated as equal? The fact that they are now being pushed closer and closer into combat while in military service is an example of this drive to show that they are equal. If they were, they would be able to make it onto a special forces Green Beret Team or Navy Seals Team. Because they are not on those teams makes it clear they are not equal in that regard. But I maintain the respect we men have for women is really the issue. We are seriously lacking in that area.
We often hear how women are more dedicated to seeking a long term relationship with the men they chose to date and later hopefully marry. If a man tries to maintain a relationship that has equal terms, they are missing the point. Actually, women need stability and safety, and they deserve a great deal of respect for the role they play in a long term relationship. Nature has it that they are the ones who take the most responsibility for the welfare of a family, and because of that they deserve a rightful place on a pedestal.
Why would I say such a thing? I would be willing to guess that there are many men who are in disagreement with that statement. And therein lies the issue. They think they deserve equal respect in a relationship. It should be noted that men by their nature may not be looking for the same thing. They aren’t interested in a relationship that is safe and stable but one that demands respect for the role they play. More often than not, if they don’t get what they want, they leave, children present or not, or even children on the way. Men are more apt to be predators seeking a relationship that places their pleasures well above all other moving parts associated with a partnership between two people. Some women might take the same approach but they number far fewer than their male counterparts.
One issue that is an extremely good indicator of a difference between the sexes is the propensity for males, alone or in groups, to be the aggressor in rape cases. They force themselves on the woman, or drug them, or entrap them in a subtle way into a relationship where the woman is being used while being led to believe there is a long term relationship in the making. Women rarely take this approach with men. That indicates that women are looking for long term relationships more often than men. That indicates that women are different than men.
If you take a closer, more honest look at the roles men and women play in a relationship you find the reason why women deserve more respect and the man must become the leader in a “subservient” fashion. That is the key. Being a leader in a subservient environment is an interesting concept. A leader provides for the safety of their men in combat. They also provide the stability necessary for the group to accomplish the highest degree of efficiency. A good leader also respects their subordinates more than he demands respect for his superior rank. The most successful leader actually plays a subservient role guarding the welfare of the team. There is no need to flaunt your rank because the leader already has the power but using that power wisely is the key. The point in this leadership rant is to get male readers to ask themselves who is actually being asked to do the most in the day to day needs of the relationship.
Here is the difference. There is a need for a man to be the protector, a stabilizer and a supporter of the overall relationship. The woman usually provides for the daily maintenance and she should be permitted to take the leading role in meeting these needs. Women are the ones who are most vulnerable. They are not capable of protecting the family or doing the heavy lifting if they are with child. That is when they need the most support of all. They need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the environment they live in is safe. They need to know that they can make it to term without any adversity creeping in. It is mandatory that a male mate insure that his partner does not have to worry about her security, safety and general welfare while waiting for the birthing process to begin.
But it doesn’t end there. After birth, a whole new area of responsibility comes to life. From nurturing to nursing, clothing and bathing, constant contact and constant surveillance to every need for several years into the future. Who needs and unselfishly wants to take on that role? The mother; the woman. If a man doesn’t understand the magnitude of this endeavor, he is a total fool. Going out with your friends and having a good time can be a part of a man’s existence but should never be any part if there is a need unmet at home. Go home first, take an active subservient role, and insure you do what it takes to bring and maintain happiness at all cost. Women are vulnerable and so also are the children. At every moment of their vulnerability they should be able to feel safe and secure.
When my son was 6 or 7, dashing out the front door and hitting the back yard of a friend’s house nearby was priority number 1 in his play cycle. It happened almost daily and sometimes several times a day after each meal. The freedom to do that was just understood and the neighborhood provided a degree of normalcy that permitted the activity. The kids were generally quite happy. But one day while he was across the street playing, I left to go on an errand. A short time later, my wife left to do another errand assuming that I had taken him with me. The house was locked up. When he returned and found that we both were not there, his acceptance of security and safety that was always going to be there, broke down. He began crying in fear. We finally came home, which could have been a matter of minutes, but it seemed like hours to him. His safety structure which was always there, just crumbled. He was able to go play because he had the comfort, subconsciously, in knowing safety and security was a moment away.
That demonstrates how someone can become dependent on the existence of what is perceived as a secure environment. That is what a man should be providing his mate. She deserves the respect and she needs the assurance that her home is going to be safe at all times. She needs comfort in knowing this exists beyond a doubt, and she needs to feel comfort that her man is always going to be vigilant and in perpetual “protection mode.” But it should be understood that although you have the power, you need to be subservient. Your home may be your castle but you are primarily in charge of maintaining the moat. The day to day maintenance of the castle is the responsibility of the woman. And since the responsibility is so monumental, you as the subservient must always be there to take up the slack and do essentially what you are told. When we humans lived in caves, the men provided for the food and did the hunting, but they also provided for the overall security of the cave. A woman with a baby 7 months on its way and another straddled on her hip while she is preparing a meal is not going to be able to provide for home security and shouldn’t even have to worry about that because she trusts you have that totally covered.
Now think about our black communities in our major cities were 70% of black children are born out of wedlock. How is it even possible for a male to be so negligent in his responsibilities? The same thing is happening among poor whites. When our government sends them a message that the government is going to take care of the poor women with children, the males have an excuse to run. How can they blame racism as the reason they leave home? Discrimination is a very common human characteristic inherent to our species. And it is not going to go away regardless of the degree of political correctness any party imposes on the populace. There is an infinite amount of hatred or mistrust for just about everything and everyone in a vast world full of diversity and cultural and religious differences across the globe.
Hatred is everywhere and we as individuals are all dealt with a tremendous amount of challenges because of it. Many hate various religions and philosophies of life like: Christians, Jews, Russians, Muslims, Atheists or even certain types of snakes, food, trees and hamburgers. PETA hates any farmer who raises livestock as a business to provide for their family. Many hate carbon to the point they want to do away with its use at all cost; not realizing that just about everything we use in our lives is derived from some form of petroleum, oil or coal process. Hatred and discrimination is a fact of life and it is up to every human being to raise himself above it and try to find a way to move on; to improve your lot in life. Millions come to this country who were in abject poverty and manage to improve their lot in life. Claiming you can’t because you run into some form of discrimination is a cope out. Where there is a will, there is a way.
Women need to be respected for the role they play in the perpetuation of our human existence. Men take a joyous moment planting a seed but the women go through 9 months of vulnerability and bare the child and then they relentlessly spend a lifetime caring for a family. Men can plant the seed and run, or they can be there to provide exceptional support for the long process of procreation. The value is in supporting, not running. Don’t look at women as equal, look at them as the source of humanity and put them on a safe and secure pedestal. And always be there to insure that pedestal remains standing.
My wife came from another country and was one of those who lived in abject poverty. In a family of 10, her father passed away when she was 12 years old and from then on all the children picked up the role of family protector, safety and financial wellbeing. They worked several jobs at once to get by. My wife was 21 years old when her family experienced a stroke of blind luck and they all managed to find their way to Hawaii. She joined the service as a resident alien and sent most of her pay home to support the family. I met her in Germany and we married.
She is now an accountant. Hard work was always in her fiber. We have 2 grown children, both happily married and both with college degrees, one a pharmacist and the other currently applying to several law schools after completing a degree in political science. He says he has gotten one acceptance and waiting on others so he is definitely going to law school. But he just hasn’t accepted one yet. Their mother gave them that chance to succeed by sacrificing herself caring for them constantly 24 hours a day for first 20 years of their lives. She did not have time to provide for the security of a home, that was my job. I might get to hang a picture once in a while or pick a color of paint provided she approves of it. The couch is where she prefers it to be, the plants are where she wants them and she chooses what most of the meals will be. It is mandated that I vacuum and clean the bathrooms once a week and mess up the laundry occasionally. And I am absolutely ok with all this. I am there! And it is not visible that the home is secure and safe but it is assumed that it will be so to the point she needs not to worry about it. She continues to worry about the wellbeing of her children to include their spouses. They have been away from home for several years now but the love of a mother continues on. She routinely calls to see how they are doing and checking to see if they need some help with anything. She is a saint in every regard.
Does a woman need to worry about her own safety and the safety and security of a roof over her head while doing all these other things and holding down a full time job as an accountant? No, and why should she? I am there to insure that part is covered and the moat is full of aggressive alligators keeping the bad guys away. She shouldn’t have to worry whether the alligators are there. Her role is the Administer of the Interior. I am the Administer of the Exterior. But I am OK with her also being the Prime Minister.
After all my spouse has been through, she deserves the respect and safety and security to spend the rest of her life doing what she loves to do – caring for the rest of us. She is always creating lists of things she wants to do in caring for the household and I slip by every once in a while and add an additional item to the list, “Do something with your husband.” And although I give each item on the list a priority number, and I make that item number 1, it is firmly understood that the list of priorities is always subject to change. I am sure everyone we come in contact with is wondering how we are getting along. I can see it on their faces. But whether they are or not, I usually manage to make a statement in jest, “I do everything she says out of fear and common sense.” It is interesting how that works when I am 6 feet tall and pretty strong and have all the physical power, she is only 5 foot tall but when she’s mad, she is 7 feet tall. And I love it that way. It’s actually a great way to experience a whole lot of happiness.
Neither party needs to exert excessive power over the other because two lives working together in tandem is a partnership. Sometimes the weight on one wheel far exceeds the weight on the other wheel. That is when it is important for that second wheel to take on some of the weight of the first wheel thus providing some balance. If things get so bad that you have to buy a trailer, attach it to your bumper and go live in the Walmart parking lot, then the pair of you need to be prepared to do that until you can get back on all four feet. Actually, I would prefer parking in front of Popeye Chicken but the lot is a little small.
Women are a wondrous part of our lives as men. Recognizing the vulnerabilities should be priority number on every man’s mind. Taking advantage of them for personal gratification is just not acceptable. It is the height of disrespect. Many studies have been done about trying to put a value to all they do in a household and in many cases, the amount is very close to or exceeds $100,000. And on top of that, they need, and often want to, to hold down a job to help the family experience a better quality of life.
I am not sure about you, but there is no way I provide that much value to the relationship. I need to respect that fact and take an appropriate roll, one that absolutely supports her wellbeing, happiness and need for security while she goes about each day making me the happiest man alive. Who usually gets called upon to change the battery in a smoke detector or get a jar down from the top shelf and twist open the lid? Me. I cook meals but they are nowhere near the quality she can bring to the table. While she is preparing a meal, I better be thinking about settling the table. It is the least I can do.
She has gone to work now, but because I am home now, retired, I am preparing to paint the living room with the color she chose to use. And when she comes home it will be done as though it never happened. All the furniture will be back in the place she wants surrounded by walls of a miraculous new color. How did that happen? Respect. Like the cable guy says, “Get ‘er done.” She doesn’t need to say thank you. She doesn’t have time since she will be concentrating on her list. I hope my priority on the list gets moved up a bit.